I had to give my housemates 30 days notice to leave and feel like shit.

I had to give my housemates 30 days notice and feel like shit.   They are close to a month behind on the rent and want to start paying the following months rent in weekly installments.  The mom was pleading with me to let them stay.  She has a teenage son.

I've been told that this is not my fault, but I feel so guilty and horrible.  As many of you know I have been on the other end of broke and desperate which doesn't make what I did any easier.  There is also my political and ethical beliefs about being "my brother's keeper."   I'm honestly conflicted between the part of me that knows I have to do this as a matter of survival, and the part that tells me I have failed to live up to my values.  I'm not sure why I am writing this in a public space except I have to share this with someone other than my therapist.

Anyway I hope everyone in my circle is doing well.  We are going through such tough times as a country and I know that at least some of my friends and acquaintances have lost their jobs.  The old phrase about the broke college student is true and stressful but I know I am exceptionally lucky to have some sense of security and weather this out as a student.

Its getting late and I'm bushed.  I've been exercising a lot - great for stress and that 40 something donut.

Ciao