I had to give my housemates 30 days notice to leave and feel like shit.

I had to give my housemates 30 days notice and feel like shit.   They are close to a month behind on the rent and want to start paying the following months rent in weekly installments.  The mom was pleading with me to let them stay.  She has a teenage son.

I've been told that this is not my fault, but I feel so guilty and horrible.  As many of you know I have been on the other end of broke and desperate which doesn't make what I did any easier.  There is also my political and ethical beliefs about being "my brother's keeper."   I'm honestly conflicted between the part of me that knows I have to do this as a matter of survival, and the part that tells me I have failed to live up to my values.  I'm not sure why I am writing this in a public space except I have to share this with someone other than my therapist.

Anyway I hope everyone in my circle is doing well.  We are going through such tough times as a country and I know that at least some of my friends and acquaintances have lost their jobs.  The old phrase about the broke college student is true and stressful but I know I am exceptionally lucky to have some sense of security and weather this out as a student.

Its getting late and I'm bushed.  I've been exercising a lot - great for stress and that 40 something donut.

Ciao

the algae sucking fish!

the algae sucking fish!
Originally uploaded by helenannesawyer

Helen totally loved this thing. It sucks algae off of the side of a fish tank. We saw this feller at the National Aquarium in DC.

Nora Month 10 - Nora breaks her pacifier and lovey out of crib prison.

MOVIE Nora Month 10 - Binkie Addict
Originally uploaded by kelly_diffily

Nora's First Steps

MOVIE First Steps - Assisted
Originally uploaded by kelly_diffily

My niece takes her first "assisted" steps. Wow!!